


Have You Seen My Hanger?

by SpitefulCannibalism



Category: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (Movies)
Genre: Chop Top Sawyer x male reader, Chop Top Sawyer x reader - Freeform, M/M, slasher x male reader, slasher x reader - Freeform, x male reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22193329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpitefulCannibalism/pseuds/SpitefulCannibalism
Summary: a Chop Top Sawyer x Male!reader fic, a would-be normal night at the Sawyers turns into mini adventure for our reader and his cannibalistic boyfriend when he realizes his hanger has gone missing.
Relationships: Robert "Chop Top" Sawyer/Male Reader, Robert "Chop Top" Sawyer/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Have You Seen My Hanger?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first ever fic (on this website) so sorry if its not perfect, im always looking for constructive criticism so if you find any problems, please dont be afraid to let me know! with that out of the way, i hope you enjoy this cluster fuck of a fic!

“Good evenin’ Texas, its Stretch again, to say that, even though I know no one's listening this late, we’re taking requests till midnight tonight on this fine Texas evenin’! So if you have that one-” Stretch had to stop mid sentence, grabbing the blinking phone that sat beside her console “And we already have a caller! Hey there you're talking to Stretch on KOKLA Red River Rock n’ Roll, what's your request for the evening?” Stretch smiled as she waited for a response, catching a glimpse at her co-worker, LG, smiling over at her. The air was pleasantly warm and the night had a real energy to it, Stretch was looking forward to an easy few hours before her show was over. 

Chop Top covered the speaking end of the clunky home phone as you both giggled. You raised a finger to Chop Tops lips in an attempt to shush him, then grabbing the phone from him when that just made the giggles worse. You raised the phone to your mouth, biting back giggles of your own as you watched Chop bounce and tap his fingers on the carpet in anticipation.   
“Hey Stretch! Is your hehe is your-” it was no use, you jerked the phone away from your face to avoid laughing into the speaker, and covered your mouth with your free hand until the giggles subsided. Chop Tops face was contorting into all sorts of funny looks, you couldn't be expected to keep a straight face with him sitting like that just across from you.  
“Give it h-here! Gimme, le-let me do i-it!” he leaned over, snatching the phone back from you and raising it up to his head once more. You didn't bother taking the hand away from your face, Chop Top was too good at prank calling, you were sure that you'd burst out laughing loud enough for Stretch when he finally told it.  
“Heya St-stretch! Is your refrigerator hehe r-running!?” you clamped your other hand over your mouth as you fell into roaring laughter, this was just too good!   
You and Chop Top waited by the phone for a shocked reaction, only to hear Stretch drum her fingers on her console, sighing before addressing both of you.  
“Bobby, y/n, I know it's you.” her usually cheery twang was momentarily replaced with a flat, annoyed tone.  
“Wh-what?! Hey, h-how’d you-you tell!” Chop Top asked, shocked and scratching at his plate with dirty fingernails. He was so sure this would work! Your shoulders slumped as you took in the exchange through the radio, how did she catch you two so easy?   
“Bobby, hang up the phone will you? I can't be talking to friends on air.”   
“Yeah, yeah s-sure. Sorry Stre-stretch.” Chop Top started picking at a chunk of dead skin by his plate, tossing it into the half eaten bowl of chili he had brought up into his room. Stretch sighed once more.  
“You're alright Bobby, just don't call like this again, that goes for you too y/n, I know you're listening too. Now, hang up please?” your ears and posture perked up when you heard your name, only to fall once more when you heard Stretch call you out, on the radio where everyone could hear no less!   
Chop Top sheepishly put down the phone onto the receiver. Both of you still sat, cross legged on Chops bedroom floor, still staring down at the phone, not speaking a word until Chop Top made a shocked realization.   
“She did-didn't even ask for my re-request!” Chop Top said as Stretch switched to the next song in the queue.   
“You had a request? I thought you were just gonna prank her?” you smiled, Chop Top only shrugged.   
“I coulda ha-had a request, now we’ll never kn-know!” Chop Top scratched at his plate once more, hmphing as his bitten down nails failed to satisfy “Ha-have you seen my h-hanger?” no waiting for an answer, he swiveled around on his butt to look around, accidently knocking his sunglasses off from his face and into the cold bowl of chili. “Ah, sh-shit!” Chop Top reached over to pull the glasses out of the bowl, dribbling some thick, brown liquid off the glass and onto his jeans.  
“Ew…” you said as you watched a chunk of man-meat slide back into the bowl with a lethargic ‘shlop’. “I think you left it down on the kitchen table?” you scratched your child “I think I saw it down there at least…”   
Chop Top scrunched his face up and stuck his tongue out at the half eaten bowl and glasses in disgust, dropping them into the bowl and getting up.   
“Mi-might as well ta-take this down as well…” he picked up the bowl, the pretty porcelain was cold to the touch now, dinner had been hours ago. “You wanna co-come down with me?” he asked, scratching at his plate again.   
“Of course” you smiled, getting up and walking over to your gangly boyfriend, reaching up to his plate and scratching for him.   
“Th-thanks babe.” Chop said, his face crinkling and warming up as you did so. You always though he had such a cute, sunny smile. You loved how his eyes would crinkle up and smile alongside his mouth, and you loved seeing that cute overbite!   
You scratched at the dent where Bubba got him with his chainsaw, avoiding the edges of the plate to avoid getting dead skin under your fingernails. His plate was...fleshy warm, you could tell that his brain was right under his fingers now…   
Chop Top made a sort of grunt noise when you moved your fingers to another spot, you took that as your cue to move your hand away.  
“Aw, wh-why’d you’ stop?” Chop Top smiled wider, he knew exactly why. His rotting gums were on full display now, it might have looked horrific to your average person, or god forbid a dentist, but to you? He just looked goofy when he smiled too big for his face like that.   
“I know that noise Pork Chop, we ain't dirtying up your glasses and underwear in one night.”   
“Bold of you to-to assume I-I’m even wearin’ under-underwear!” Chop Top howled with laughter as your face crumpled into a mix of disgust and fear “I’m jus-just fuckin’ wit-with you!” Chop cackled, he couldn't remember if he even put some on today, but he wasn't about to tell you that. You got on his ass for not wearing underwear enough already.   
“C’mon, let's ge-get my hanger!” Chop Top turned to his sticker-covered door and sploshed a small bit of un-eaten chili from the bowl to the floor, right onto the face of a small stuffed cat that had fallen from his bed. The chunks dribbled off the cats face and onto the vibrant rug Cop Top had “found” one day while out, he never did tell you where exactly he found it, but the thick smell of weed and decomposing meat that radiated off it gave you a few ideas.   
You got up from your place on the floor and followed Chop Top to the door, not before picking up the poor little cat and wiping the chili off its face, then placing it on to Chops cluttered bed alongside the other stuffed animals, then entering the long hallway alongside Chop Top. 

The hallways worn-down rugs, patches of bear floor, and peeling wallpaper might have given the hall a run-down look to visitors, but to you and the Sawyers? It made it homey.  
After all, that was the whole point of the hall outside their rooms. It all started a few months back, Bubba homesickness had taken a turn for the worst, he had been hiding away in room for hours at a time and only coming out for the necessities, and Draytons constant bad moods (which often ended in him getting into shouting fits about how they were never going to go home, and how this was all Bubba's fault when he was feeling particularly nasty) weren't helping. Day by day Bubba was getting worse and worse and no one could stand it, but no one knew what to do about it.  
That was until Chop Top got an idea. He told only you and Nubbins, wanting to be sure Drayton wouldn't catch wind and stop him and so it would be a surprise for Bubba. The very next day, all three of you loaded up into Chop Tops truck at the crack of dawn and sped off, back to the house.  
The three of you busted inside the old, now abandoned, farm house (Drayton had taken extra special care in locking up one last time, even if they were in a hurry, and kept what he believed to be the last key to himself, as Nubbins pointed out on the drive there. Chop Top assured his two passengers that, though Drayton may have the only conventional key to the house, Chop Top had learned and extra-special way of opening doors in Vietnam. You didn't think it was that special when you saw it, anyone could kick a door down, even you! And you didn't even need to go to ‘nam to learn it!). Once the three of you were in, you all went to town grabbing rugs and skins, peeling as much faded wallpaper off the wall as you could get, even scrounging up a few family heirlooms and a few of Nubbins’ art projects you were all too rushed to grab the first time, tossing the whole lot into the bed of Chop Tops truck (a little too haphazardly at times, Chop Top nearly took Nubbins out when he decided to toss great-great Aunt Sherly’s set of fine china from a second story window. Lucky for Nubbins he was just an inch too far to the right and narrowly avoided getting a broken-porcelain shower, unluckily for Aunt Sherly, her china was now in a million pieces thanks to dumbass of a grand nephew and his boyfriend for egging him on.)   
Nubbins even started pulling up loose floorboards and tossing them into Chops truck once he ran out of art projects to take. He even did a decent job of it, for a skinny guy without any tools, but he also ended up giving himself splinters all over his hands.   
“Nothin’ I can't handle!” Nubbins said when you asked him how he was gonna get all those out, his pride would fade later on when they started leaking blood and pus, and any pride (or dignity) he had left would be snuffed out when he realized he couldn't take them all out on his own, and had to go up to Drayton to ask for help. Despite what the future held for him, he looked pleased as a peach when he got all his floorboards pulled up and loaded into the back of Chops truck.   
You all sped back to Texas BattleGround, getting there just in time to lay out a few rugs and tape up some wallpaper before Bubba got up. Chop Top was a little upset that they couldn't get everything set up in time, but that hardly mattered to him when he saw just how happy the revamped hallway made Bubba. He ran up and down the hall, taking in every rip and stain on the wallpaper and bending down to pet all of the rugs he passed by. It was like the old Bubba was back already, the chainsaw lover could hardly believe what he was seeing.   
After he took all the wallpaper and rugs in, Bubbas face curled up behind his mask and he ran over to you and his two brothers to envelope you all into one of his famous bear-hugs.   
“A-all for you li-lil bro! Haha, I'm glad yo-you like it!” Chop said as he wiggled an arm free to hug Bubba back. “Le-let's hope Drayton likes it as muc-much as you do!” Naturally Drayton was pissed that they went back to the house when they knew it was unsafe, and broke down the damn door no less, but he couldn't stay mad when he saw how happy it made Bubba. And he'd deny it if anyone said it, but he missed the house too, he couldn't stay mad at you and his little brothers, not this time.  
All of you spent the next hour or so setting up the things you three had collected from the house, the memory alone made you smile. 

And you kept smiling as you made your way further into the building, your eyes lazily focused on the walk in front of you, as if you didn't have a care in the world. Chop Top on the other hand, stared not in front of him, rather directly at your hand, the one closest to him as both of you walked side by side.   
You were absentmindedly swinging it as you walked, not too fast, but fast enough where Chop Top couldn't easily grab it from you and hold it while the two of you walked to the dining room. You must have sensed you were being watched, as your eyes flicked over to your boyfriend, seeing what he was looking at you slowed the swinging of your hand, allowing him to grab it with a pale, thin hand.   
His hands were long and thin, his knuckles seeming knobby compared to just how thin his fingers were. The look of them and his ghastly paleness might have made anyone else assume that his grip would have been cold and clammy, but the truth was anything but, his hands were warm and comforting to you, like a little, hand-held ray of sunshine. Your hands were small compared to your boyfriends, so whenever you held hands yours was always engulfed in warmth.   
Chop Top loved holding your hand too. His hands were shaky, the nurse at the VA hospital said that shakes like that were pretty common in vets that saw combat, though Chop doubted that was the case, his hands had always been a little shaky! But then again, they shook one hell of a lot more now than they did pre-nam, they would shake so bad now that it was impossible to do anything with them but sit around and wait for the shaking to pass. Sometimes it'd only last a few minutes, other times it'd be hours. The worst was when it got so bad Chop Top could hardly use his hands for the better half of a week.   
But when you were around to hold them? Somehow, the shakes never came. Chop Top guessed it had something of do with how comfortable you made him, the VA nurse did say something about how being around people and things that brought him comfort could keep the shakes at bay…  
It was stuff like that, that made Chop Top wonder if you knew just how much you meant to him, he had tried telling you, attempting to put his feelings into words many, many times, but no matter how much he put into it, his words never came out right. He normally wasn't bothered by his less than eloquent speech, after all, if whoever he was talking to could mostly get the general idea of what he was trying to say, what was the point n’ tryin’ to make it pretty? But you were different, after all you've done for him, Chop Top felt like you at least deserved a few pretty words for it…  
Chop Top and you made it to the dining room, letting go of your hand, Chop dropped the bowl in an empty spot and went to search the table. The table was filthy, covered in dirty bowls, used silverware, and chili and loose beans were smeared everywhere you could think to look. Drayton wasn't home that evening, gone off to another chili cook off and likely wouldn't be home for some time, and with no Drayton around to tell the boys off the Sawyer residence went to shit pretty quickly.   
Chop Top began looking around the table, mumbling to himself about all the places he could have left the hanger. You didn't have much of a clue, you thought you saw him with it at the dinner table that night, but now that you were here you were a lot less sure. You searched around where Chop Top sat, picking through the used cutlery, dirty bowls, and beans, so many beans, they were everywhere, but no hanger. Maybe you were wrong, and he did take it with him?   
You looked over at Chop Top, hoping he was having better luck than you were. He was shuffling through the mess on the table, getting more and more frustrated as the seconds ticked on. Chop Top was particular about his things, even if it was easily replaced he couldn't stand losing the things he held close to him. He began scratching at his plate with his nubby fingernails once more, desperately scratching in an attempt to get a good feeling from it, but it was no use. At least he wasn't scratching for itchings sake, Chop Top often scratched at his plate absent mindlessly when he was thinking about something intensely, which was normally fine, unless he got so intense he started scratching at everything but his plate. One night he was so busy thinking about something he started scratching at Nubbins’ head instead of his own.   
“I'm just not seein’ it Pork Chop…” you said, Chop Top looked over at you with a heart broken expression.   
“Do yo-you think it's sniff g-gone-gone?” tears began to well up in his eyes as he choked out the words.  
“Oh no, I'm sure it's somewhere Chop Top! Oh- maybe you dropped it in the hall? Or maybe Nubbins snagged it?” You were pushing out your words so fast they were starting to much together. “Maybe we should find Bubba and ask-” You stopped dead when you heard a choked sob from Chop Top. “I'm sure we’ll find it!” another sniffle “I’m sure we’ll find it!” another sniffle “Oh Pork Chop, baby don't cry!” another sniffle, you felt your face go hot as you began to feel overwhelmed with panic “please! If you start cryin’ I'm gonna start cryin’ too!”   
“Wh- aw fuck- babe, baby! I'm me-messin’ wiv-with you! I’m ju-just messin’ wit-with you! Come o-on I’m jokin’, I-I think I know where I p-put my han-hanger! I just th-thought I’d play a-a little joke on you!” Chop Top smiled at you, the tears in the corner of his eyes were gone and any trace of heartbreak was cleared from his face “See! It-it's all ok!” now it was your turn to sniffle, goddamnit, Chop could really be a pain in the ass sometimes. Making you almost cry over nothin’ like that…  
“That wasn't funny, dick cheese.” you spat, trying to ignore the tears still in the corners of your eyes. Chops face fell.   
“I'm so-sorry babe-” in a vengeful and impulsive moment, you reached your hand into the nearest bowl of forgotten chili, grabbing as much as you could fit in your fist, and chucking it at Chop Top before he could even finish talking. For a split second Chop Tops eyes went wide as the fist-full of chili hurtled towards him. He didn't even have time to fully close his mouth when the chunky glob of man meat, beans, and meat juice made contact with his face.  
“AW-AW YOU LITTLE-” Chop Top spat a chunk of meat out of his mouth “ooooooooh I'm gonna ge-get-” Chop reached down to get a fist-full to throw at you, only to get another face full of chili.   
“Oh come-come on giv-give me a chance to-” another open mouth hit! “EW, EW, EW!” Chop Top started rechting “You-you got a-a fuckin’ bean in there!”  
“It's what you deserve!” you giggled as Chop Top stuck his tongue out at you “What you get for lyin’ and-” Smack! Now it was your turn to gag.   
“Hehe” you spat out what had gotten into your mouth, Nubbins had cooked the chili tonight, you'd have to tell him to lay off the fuckin’ beans next time.   
“Oh you're just askin’ for it now” you grabbed another handful and aimed for the head, only for your boyfriend to duck last minute, letting the glob of chili hit the wall behind the two of you instead.   
You both stopped laughing and turned to look at the goopy chili sluggishly drip down the once-clean dining room wall.   
“...Draytons gonna kill us isn't he…” you said, not moving your eyes from the back of Chop Tops head as you reached, slowly, for another handful.   
“He on-only will if we do-don't clean it quick.” Chop Top started turning back around to face you, and you took that as your cue. Your eyes locked on your target and you threw the chili, getting the whole glob straight onto Chop Tops plate.   
“YEEHAW!” you yelled as Chop wiped off the chili from his chrome dome.   
“Y-you giggle little sh-shit!” Chop Top went for another handful “I shou-shoulda seen that on-one comin’!” Chop Top missed your face, but got the front of your shirt dripping with cold chili, if he thought you were gonna go down easy after that…

The two of you were laughing so hard, you could barely throw straight anymore  
“Maybe we should giggle stop?” Chop Top peaked out at you from his hiding spot under the table.  
“No! Yo-you're just gon-gonna get me outta hi-hiding n’ throw mo-more chili at me!”   
“No i'm not!”  
“I don't t-trust like that!”   
“I promise!” you pouted, and Chop Top cautiously rose from his spot, but still keeping some distance between the two of you “Oh come on Pork Chop…” you closed in the distance between you and picked a lone bean off his shirt.   
“So...wanna st-start cleaning?” he grinned, you both had covered the entire dining room in chili.   
“Nah.” you wiped a hand across your mouth, the taste of cold chili still lingered from when Chop Top got you in the face, you were trying to get any lingering remnants of food as far away from your mouth as possible. You loved Nubbins, but he was no Drayton when it came to the kitchen.  
“Me ni-neither,” Chop Top smiled and scratched at his plate “We ca-can clean later, I-I think I know whe-where I left my ha-hanger anyways…and I got an-an idea on how we-we’re gettin’ it back.”   
“Oh no.”  
“N-no, nah, I-I swear thi-this is a good one!” Chop Top started walking “We ju-just gotta tell Nubs…” Chop Top stopped abruptly to look back at you “You comin’?”   
“I dunno Bobby, are you sure this is a good idea?” to that, chop Top just smiled. Well, now you had to follow.

Chop Top and you made your way into the the comfy living room, where mis-matched chairs and an old couch circled around a fuzzy little TV Nubbins had found on the roadside ( a lucky find too, Bubb had knocked over the old one in the hurry to leave the old house, it was still there even, albeit in a million pieces). The chairs ranged from plush floral arm chairs to old wooden rocking chairs with sun-bleached cushions sat on the seat, the couch was the centerpiece of the furniture, well worn and big enough for just shy of five people to sit on it, or big enough for one entire Nubbins to sprawl himself out on it.   
Nubbins was in a dead sleep, his head still lazily turned towards the TV and a limp arm rested on his chest, steadily rising and falling along with every breath he took. He was oddly serene as he laid in almost-stillness, ever so slightly illuminated by the dim light of the TV. Grandpa and what was left of Grandma Sawyer were both sat up in chairs on either side of him, still in either a case of trance or sleep.   
“NUB-NUTS! R-RISE AND FU-FUCKIN’ SHINE!” Chop Top had gotten right up into his twins face and started yelling, causing the no-longer serene Nubbins to shoot up, smacking his forehead right into Chop Tops with a thunk!  
“OW, OW, OW!” Chop Top stumbled backwards, Nubbins reeled back and into the couch in pain and held his hurting head as Chop Top stumbled into the TV, tripping and slamming himself into the wall behind it.   
“Why the hell did you?!” Nubbins exclaimed in a confused rage, you hurried over to Chop Top and helped him up.   
“Ugh, god-goddamnit! Why’d yo-you go n’ do-do that N-nub-nuts?”   
“Wh- do what?!”   
“Ugh, why’d I-I come out he-here- Oh!” Chop Top staggered back onto his feet and made his way back over to Nubbins “Me n’ y/n are goin’ o-out tonight! Make su-sure to tell Drayton if we don't ge-get back in t-time!”   
“Wait! Wait, wait no! You can't go n’ do that!” Nubbins sputtered, standing up and rubbing his forehead “Drayton said we’re not suppose’ to be runnin’ around when he's not here…”  
“Aw, who cares a-about what Drayton has t-to say? We can just-”   
“Nah, nah I can't have you doing that, Drayton put me in charge and i'll never hear the end of it!”   
“Then we’ll be back before Drayton Nubbins! We’ll just be out for a minute, Drayton doesn't have to know!” You chirped up, Nubbins rubbed the back of his neck.  
“You promise?”  
“We promise.”   
“I already know you're probably bein’ honest, it's just Bobby i'm worried about.” Nubbins cocked Chop Top a dirty look.   
“Do-don't go lookin’ a-a-at me like that! If you-you want me n’ him h-home before Drayton we’ll be h-home before Drayton!” Chop Top offered his brother a reassuring smile “An-n’ goddamnit! I-I told you to st-start callin’ me Chop Top!” 

You stuck a hand out from the passenger side window, letting the cool Texas-night air dance through your outstretched fingers as Chop Top crushed down the old backroads, guided only by his faded headlights and the lonely glow of the moon.  
Chop Tops fingers tapped along to the radio, he tried to keep his eyes glued on the road for once, but he couldn't help glancing over at you every so often. Not for any particular reason, it wasn't like he could see you all too well in such low light, he just felt like looking at you. As he peeked over at you a warning from Drayton rung in his ears, something about not straining his eyes in such low light, something about how Drayton just knew Chop Top was gonna go blind one of these days and straining his vision at night was just gonna speed things up.   
Then again it's not like that warning meant much to Chop Top, even if he heeded his brothers words, he had said that when he had started getting himself into the habit of worrying himself sick about his brothers. When he said that, he was neck deep in trying to convince the family that their young Bobby was going blind, citing how most of the Sawyer clan have dark brown eyes, while Chop Top has light blue, and how the only other kin he knew of who had blue eyes was great-great auntie Adrienne, and she had gone blind at 20! Or so family legend went, there was really no telling if great-great auntie Adrienne went blind because of her eyes, or if she had really gone blind that young, or if she had even gone blind at all! Hell, for all they knew, Drayton was getting family members confused again and they didn't even have a great-great auntie Adrienne! But that's hindsight now, at the time, Drayton was convinced and had scared the brothers into thinking poor Robert Sawyer only had a few years of sight left.   
Well, then again, sometimes Chop Top wished Drayton was right and he did go blind, probably woulda meant he wouldn't have been drafted wouldn't it! Though he supposed everything else would sorta suck if he had gone blind, wouldn't be able to look at you for one, and if he never made it to nam he woulda never gotten his plate! Gosh that would probably mean everyone would still be calling him Bloody Bobby still…  
You looked away from the window to glance over at Chop Top. His attention was on the road physically, but you knew that look in his eyes, he was miles away as he sat next to you, aimlessly scratching at his steering wheel with those nubby little finger nails.  
“Hey Pork Chop, your plate ain't down there.” Chop Top blinked, straightening up his back.  
“Huh? Wh-Wha, oh y-yeah i'm driv-drivin’!” Chop Top laughed “Whoops!”  
“What? You forget or somethin’?” you laughed and propped your chin up on your fist, eyes not moving from Chop Tops moonlit profile.   
“Maybe. O-only for a sec-second if I did!” he giggled, you rolled your eyes despite giggling right with him.   
“How’ve you never gotten into a car accident when you drive like that?”   
“Cuz I-I'm a good driver! Lea-learned from th-the best!” Chop Tops fingers found their way back up to his plate.  
“Drayton? Didn't he rear-end a tree just last week?”   
“No one's per-perfect!” Chop Top cackled “Besides, D-Drayton didn't teach m-me! Did-did I ever tell-tell you who did? You'd nev-never guess!”   
“Who taught you?”   
“I-I said you got-gotta guess!”   
“Aw come on Pork Chop, just tell me!”  
“Do-don't you go Pork Choppin’ me! You got-gotta guess!”  
“Grandpa?”  
“No! Gr-grandpa doesn't ev-even know how to drive!”   
“Oh come on Chop Top why can't you just tell me?”   
“Awe, fine! I-it was Nubs!” now that was a surprise.   
“Nubbins can drive?”   
“Oh yeah, he-he just likes wal-walkin’, finds more ro-road kill walkin’!”   
“So what's the story about Nubs teaching you how to drive?”   
“Oooooh that's a-a-a crazy one! Well y-you see it all st-started with Drayton leavin hi-his truck out on-one day, it-it was just sittin’ th-there!” Chop Top went on to spin a crazy tale about how he and Nubbins hotwired (“on a-accident!”) Draytons truck and (“also on-on accident!”) tore down the driveway and onto the road, with only Chop Top behind the wheel and a panicked Nubbins trying to tell him how to drive from the passenger seat. Chop Top made sure to tell you how Nubbins learned everything from TV (“t-taught him everythin’ he-he knows!”), and then how he got the hang of things, and how the two misbehaving Sawyer brothers sped down the dirt roads, hootin-n-hollerin' the whole while, even jamming to the radio!  
“And th-that was the fun st-stuff before the cops s-saw us…” Chop Trialed on, by now you guessed this probably wasn't a true story and Chop Top was only trying to fuck with you again, but you stayed quiet. Even if it was fake, an entertaining story is an entertaining story, Chop Top must have thought about this a good bit beforehand, it was too in depth to just be something he came up with on the fly, he must have been waiting for the opportunity to fuck with someone to come along.   
“And the, ri-right when we get-got rid of the c-cops and that b-bear, we come inside to D-drayton and Bubba! Hehe, guess we so-sort forgot they w-were there, aw yo-you could probably gue-guess that Bubba was sc-scared half to death about us, and Drayton mad as hell, I still th-think I got bruises on my a-ass from that be-beatin’!” Chop Top howled with laughter as he finished his story, slapping the steering wheel as he did so.  
“So was that what really happened?” you asked.  
“Aw, n-no, you kno-know me too well, nah, none of tha-that happened…’cept f-for the bear that wa-was real…”  
“You n’ Nubs really ran into a bear?”  
“Well, I guess it mighta just be-been Bubba butt na-naked but, he s-sure looked like a bear!” you giggled as Chop Top slapped the steering wheel once more.  
“By the way...where are we goin’?” Chop Top squinted at a road sign as it passed.  
“Oh, h-huh guess I nev-never told you, I-I think I le-left my ha-hanger when we were a-at the station visitin’ Stretch n’ LG,” Chop Top held back a giggle before he continued “thought we-we’d pop in n’ look around, give o-our faves a lit-little surprise!” 

“Alright Texas! On to our last few requests, up next we have some Guns n’ Roses, followed up by a little Bon Jovi and then we’ll be getting a little heavier with some Iron Maiden and Judas Priest, and then we’ll be back Bon Jovi with a side of…” Stretch squinted at the chicken scratch makeshift queue LG had written up, she was thankful for her co host taking care of the requests while she worked the console, but he really needed to work on his handwriting. Stretch waved over to get LGs attention, once he realized the predicament he mouthed something that sorta looked like “Eetro Tool”, but Stretch got the message.  
“And with a side of Jethro Tull! Remember Texas, we’ll still be taking requests for the next fifteen minutes, be sure to call in if you want to hear that one special song tonight!” Stretch took off her headphones and threw on the first request, LG gave her two thumbs up and laughed from behind the glass.  
“Sorry Stretch, tryin’ to work on my handwriting!”   
“Don't worry about it LG,” Stretch laughed and made her way out of the booth “watch the console for me? I'm gonna grab a soda.” LG nodded and got up, cracking his back with a pained look on his face.   
“Shouldn't be sittin’ for that long…”   
“Don't go twisting around like that LG, I don't want you ripping your stitches.” Stretch put a hand on LGs shoulder as he groaned.   
“I ain't about to pull anything, I just need to get up and moving more.” Stretch gave her co-host a sympathetic look, after his...rocky first meeting with the Sawyers it didn't look like LG would survive with how bad his injuries were, but, miraculously, LG was not only able to make a full recovery, but he also was able to get back to work much sooner than expected. Though, LG wasn't made of luck, he survived sure, but not without more stitches than he could count to keep the skin Bubba chopped off attached to him. As a result, LG felt and looked nothing short of horrific, like if Frankenstein's monster was made out of nothing but wholesome Texan men (well, not just sort of, he was a wholesome texas man who's been chopped up and stitched back up together, he was “Frankenstein's Texan” according to Nubbins, never to LGs face of course.)  
“Don't do anything stupid LG.” 

You and Chop Top were giggling like madmen as you both hoped out of Chop Tops truck and snuck up to the back of the station, Chop Top got up to the door first and jiggled the door knob.  
“Shit!” he swore as the door stayed shut “Th-thought they didn't l-lock this one…”   
“Ain't surprised if they started, after last time…” you raised an eyebrow, Chop Top scoffed.  
“Why wo-would they do that? Wh-what if we wanted to-to pay a su-surprise visit?”   
“Keep your voice down!” you hissed, eyes locking up on a window who's lights had flickered on.  
“...Think Th-” you clamped a hand over his mouth before he could make another sound.   
“Shhh!” all eyes were on a dark figure moving around within the room, they were right by the window, a quick look behind the curtain would leave you both with nowhere to hide, if you were seen the only option would be to hop back into Chop Tops truck and haul ass back to the Sawyers, and hope whoever it was either didn't see who you were or didn't tell Drayton.   
You studied the figure, it was too thin to be LG, so it had to be Stretch.   
Well that was just your luck, at least LG was clearly scared of the Sawyers, particularly Chop Top, he could mostly handle Bubba, guessing him being passed out during most of Bubbas work might have had something to do with that, but he was scared shitless of Chop Top. When you, Chop Top, and Bubba stopped in earlier the poor guy had locked himself in the bathroom and refused to come out till Chop Top was gone, and you couldn't exactly blame him for having that reaction, if you had been introduced to Chop Top by him breaking into your work and bashing your head in you'd probably be just as scared of the hippie as he was.  
If it was LG behind that window odds are he wouldn't cause you much trouble, he might call Lefty but with any luck, you and Chop Top would be halfway back to Texas Battleground by the time he managed to get to the receiver.   
Stretch on the other hand, wasn't scared of the family, not in the slightest. She wasn't going to run crying to Lefty if she caught you and Chop Top prowling around the station at this hour. She'd give both of you a scolding, send you home with your tails between your legs, and tell Drayton exactly what you were doing soon as she got the chance, and then Drayton would give you both an ass whoopin’ to remember.   
You were both statues as you watched the window, even your usually twitchy boyfriend had gone frighteningly still as he waited for Stretch to either notice you two or leave.   
Your luck had not run out yet, after a few more laboring seconds of unsurety and waiting, something inside must have grabbed Stretch’s attention from further inside the station, as she suddenly turned and walked back off into back into the station. You exhaled a breath you didn't you were holding in and looked back at Chop Top.   
“Well, how’re we gettin’ in?” you asked, Chop Top was already one step ahead of you, falling down to his knees and checking around the backdoor stoop.   
“Th-there's gotta be a k-key around here som-somewhere…Bubba gets in he-here all the time n’ I-I know he doesn't have a-a key.” Chop Top was down on his hands and knees, shuffling around in the dirt as he checked under every rock and overgrown plant for a hidden key. You chewed your bottom lip as you peeked back over at the back door, if you were Stretch, where would you hide a key?  
Chop Top started scratching at his plate again, using the other hand to dig through a bush in hopes of catching a glimpse of metal in the mound of mostly dead plant life, but ultimately coming up empty. Shit, maybe Bubba really did have a key afterall? Maybe he was just keeping it a secret...but that didn't seem like Bubba! He would have at least told his big brother Chop Top if he got a key! He told him everything, he at least woulda shown him, Bubba always showed him all the neat new things he got first!  
You knelt down to the ground and helped your boyfriend in search, eventually resorting to digging through piles of dirt that looked off, still with no luck.  
“This is useless Pork Chop…” you stood up and attempted to walk back to Chop Tops truck, only for Chop Top to reach over and grab your ankle before you could get away.  
“Wait! I-it's gotta be ar-ro-around here somewhere!” Chop Top stuck out his bottom lip and pouted “we c-came all this w-way…”   
“It's no big deal if we can't get in tonight Pork Chop, listen how about I just call Stretch and come pick it up for you tomorrow?” you offered. Chop Top let go of your ankle and let his hands dangle, lazily crossed at the writs, by his knelt knees.   
“I-it's a big deal to me! I wan-wanted to ta-take you out and do-do something fun...Id feel bad dra-draggin’ you all the wa-way out here for nothin...wastin’ your ti-time again…”   
“Again? Pork Chop, baby, you couldn't waste my time if you tried!” Chop Top looked up into your eyes “Spending the night with you, even if we ain't doing nothin’, that’ll never be a waste of my time.” aw shucks, you really were too good with words sometimes, Chop Top could feel his heart go all melty and warm.   
“You know I-I wish I co-could talk lik-like that back to you.” Chop Top said as he got up, his eyes not moving from yours as he got back up.   
“What do you mean?” you asked, offering him a hand and hoisting him back to his feet.  
“Oh...you kn-know? The way y-you talk sometimes, it ma-makes my he-heart feel all warm n’ goo-gooy inside with jus-just yer words! You can sa-say stuff to me n’ all th-the sudden I've got th-this big smile on my-my face fo-for hours! It just a-ain't fair, I can't e-even do it back! I ain't no good wi-with words, yo-you know that!” Chop Top waited for your reaction, but it didn't come. He assumed you must have been mad at him or something, he searched your face for signs of anger, and saw that it was red all over. It wasn't an angry red, it was...not embarrassment, it sorta looked like the kinda red Chop Top would get stained on his face when he saw you do something cute.  
“...ohhh…” Chop Top said as he realized. Huh, well, Chop Top was speaking from the heart just then, maybe that's how you did it. Funny, he didn't use any of those big pretty words that you used with him, but then again he supposed it never was the words that got him gooey, he supposed, it was how you said them. Chop Top could just feel in the way you said them that you meant them.   
“I...Pork Chop, you don't gotta use a bunch of big words to let me know you care. I like it when you tell me this stuff, plainly said or not, you don't gotta worry about the words you use to say it.” you and Chop Top looked like bulbs on a christmas tree you were blushing so bright. The Texas night was quiet again as the two of you stood in behind the radio station, there was nothing else either of you could think to say, not even in a bad way. You two weren't one's for the quiet, you were both too hyperactive, loud, and constantly trying to outdo one another, but in this moment? It was nice, both of you could just stand next to the other and know that they knew that they were loved. It was nice, because for a moment, everything that was needed to be said had been said, and that everything that had been said had been understood.   
It was an unfamiliar feeling, you never felt this kind of understanding with anyone else, but that wasn't a bad thing now was it? Though, you couldn't help but feel a little goofy, gettin’ all serious about this love stuff when Chop Top was standing right next to you, grinning like he’d just won a million bucks with his yellow teeth and rotting gums on full display for all the world to see, with his pale, cracked gums lips pulled back into a smile. Chop Top was a weird guy, maybe not the kinda guy you thought you'd have these sort of feelings for, but you felt them anyways, and you were content to know that the feelings were mutual, and that simple fact was enough to keep any thought or worry far away for a moment.   
Though maybe that wasn't such a good thing at this particular moment. Two love-struck hillbillies loitering around a radio station in the dead of night would only go unnoticed for so long after all, especially when one of those hillbillies looked as... unique as Chop Top.  
“What the-” you turned just in time to catch the tail end of LG running back inside the station, that man turned and ran so fast when he saw Chop Top you could feel the second hand panic from his doctor, that man was moving way too fast for someone who just got hacked up.  
You caught Chop Tops eyes again only to look right back at the now ajar door.  
“Well?”  
“Ca-came all this way!” next thing anyone knew the both of you had bum rushed into the station and were all ready making hell of the place.   
“EEEEEXIT!” Chop Top hollered as he jumped up and smacked the sign on his way in, accidentally hitting it so hard it came right off the ceiling and onto the floor with a thud. “Oops!” Chop Top and you said in sing-songy voices as you made your ways through the station, tearing up everything in your path as you both looked for the hanger. Stretch was gonna have Drayton beat you two bloody or just do it herself when she saw all this, but right now that didn't matter, the only thing on your minds was finding the hanger and causing as much mayhem as you could while you looked.

Stretch tucked a chunk of her hair behind her ear and tapped her foot along to the music, sipping her soda without a care in the world. Usually she got up and danced along to these songs, sometimes with LG joining in too, but not tonight. All she wanted to do was go home, getting into something comfy, maybe watching a movie and tearing into those cookies Bubba had brought her the other day…  
Stretch was so far into her fantasy, she almost didn't notice when LG came running back into the room.  
“LG? What are you runnin-” Stretch started to ask, only to be cut off by the answer to her question

“H-Heya Stretchy! You-you never took my req-request!” Chop Top teased Stretch, who was currently dumbstruck and still as she watched the chaos begin to unfold. LG dove under his desk, one, fearful hand peeking out and feeling around for the phone kept on the desk. You and Chop Top had already forgotten about LG, in fact the two of you had gotten so into causing a rumpus you both nearly forgot to keep an eye out for Chop Tops hanger.  
“Uhhh, y-you know how this th-thing works?” Chop Top was hunched over the console, hitting random buttons in an attempt to figure out how the machine worked. You shrugged over at your boyfriend, you were a little preoccupied tying up Stretch with a loose wire you had found in an attempt to keep her from stopping you two. You patted the poor, shocked woman on her solder.  
“Sorry about this Stretch! I'll let you go soon as we’re done, don't be mad at me!” you giggled and hurried over to the console “do you think they got a manual around here or somthin’?”   
“You kn-know I can-can't read good!” Chop Top whined.  
“I can though, shit-fer-brains,” you teased, playfully punching your boyfriends shoulder “you go see if you can find it, I'll see if I can figure this out on my own.”   
“Wh-why do I gotta go lo-lookin’ for it? You're the re-reader here you dog di-dick!” neither of you meant anything by the mean names, you're playful smiles showed that well enough.   
“You already got to mess with it! It's my turn”  
“Aw- yo-you're worse than Nubs!” Chop Top laughed all the way to a storage closet right by the booth.   
“If either of you break that you're paying for it!” Stretch called from her chair, mostly over the initial shock of the situation and now just a little too calm for a woman who had just been tied up by two murder-cannibals. She didn't like it one bit, but by now she was used to the Sawyer clans antics, getting held captive by crazy hillbillies was just another unwelcome commonality now.  
Chop Top began pulling everything out of the closet, everything from records to fan letters, and even a few half eaten chocolate bars shoved towards the back.   
“Ew! Shit S-stretchy, I-I-I think my ro-rooms lookin’ nicer than th-this…” Chop Top said, pulling a record out of it's sleeve to itch at his plate.   
“Blame Bubba for those candy bars, not me!” Stretch wasn't even bothering to break free “He's always begging for candy then forgetting about it somewhere!” you let out a dramatic gasp as you continued fucking with the console.  
“Stretch! You're not givin’ Bubba candy when he visits, are you? You know how he gets when he has too much sugar! Shame on you!” You giggled, Stretch, playing along, gasped right back at you.  
“Oh you know I know that! He's just such a beggar! I can't say no to him, can't have anything sweet around him without him breaking out those big ol’ eyes…”   
“Aw Stretch! I know you're stronger than that!” you teased, Chop Top gave you both a look from the closet.  
“Can you t-two stop fl-flirtin’ while I’m right he-here?” he said, sticking his tongue out at you both,  
“Don't you go gettin’ jealous Pork Chop~”   
“You two are insufferable, you know that?” Stretch laughed as the two of you broke out into a bout of dorky back-and-forth flirting.

While you two carried on, LG had finally found the phone, pulling it under the desk and pounding out Lefty's number with trembling fingers.  
“L-Lefty?”  
“LG? Why are you calling this late, what's wrong? Wheres Stretch?” Lefty barked out his questions, though he had a feeling he already knew the answers to them.   
“It-it's the hippie!” LG croaked, struggling to keep his voice down.  
“Damn it- is he at least the only one?”   
“No, that other one he's with is here too,”   
“I'll be right over, God willing.” Lefty slammed down the phone and grabbed two things before leaving, his hat and his chainsaw, which he threw onto his head and the back of his truck respectively, before tearing off into the night. 

“Found it!” Chop Top spun around, manual in hand, and noticed something metallic on LGs desk. “Ooh..?” Chop Top scampered over to grab the thin piece of twisted metal. “Aw, LG? Y-you put thi-this aside for me?” Chop Top kicked the side of the desk, earning a whimper from the hidden LG.  
“You find that manual yet?” you called from the booth.  
“A-and then some!” Chop Top replied, holding up his hanger “Sweet o-ol’ LG pu-put my hanger out…”  
“That's good. Now, bring over the manual,” Chop Top snorted and rolled his eyes.  
“Gl-glad you're hap-happy for me…” You smiled over at Chop Top as he entered the booth, blowing him a kiss from your place at the console.  
“I'm glad you found your Hanger Pork Chop, now let's see if we can figure out this fucker!” you and Chop Top howled with laughter, and Chop Top pulled a cassette out from his vest pocket.  
“Now, y-you read that n’ te-tell me how to pla-play a tape on th-this…”

Lefty sped down the same Texas backroads you and Chop Top took. It was a bit of a gamble, the backroads were technically a detour, unless you were speeding of course, but they did lead right to the back entrance to the station. Though occasionally the local police department had cop cars hidden in the trees, waiting for teens and otherwise that were speeding, and some small-town cop stopping Lefty was the last thing he needed right now, time was of the essence, God only knew what that damn hippie and his little friend would do while Lefty was dealing with goddamn Barney Fife.  
Not to mention, getting stopped while speeding in the middle of the night, in his pajamas and a chainsaw in the back would just have people thinking he was crazier than ever. Not that he wasn't crazy, you can thank our favorite cannibalistic clan of hillbillies for that little tidbit, but that didn't mean Lefty wanted people thinking that. The more people that wrote Lefty off as some crazy old man running after an urban legend the more potential victims were made, if people continued to doubt him, they continued to doubt the existence of the Sawyers, and that's the last thing he wanted.  
As he zoomed into the darkness, the radio signal started to go fuzzy, that's when he got an idea he couldn't believe he didn't have earlier. He reached down to the car radio and tuned into Stretches radio station.  
“Wel-well heya Texas! It yo-your old bud-buddy Chop Top here! Now, I-I know what you're th-thinkin’, wheres o-our Stretchy? Well n-no need to wo-worry! She's fine jus-jst-just a little, uh, tied u-up? Hehe. Now we-we’re uh, experiencing some tec-technical difficulties, so I-I’ll be keep-keepin’ y’all company t-till we ge-get that straightened out!” Lefty couldn't believe his ears! That was one of the Sawyer boys! It had to be that chrome domed hippie too, he was the only one with a stutter that bad. LG wasn't mistaken like Lefty had hoped, that hippie was the second worst one to run into, if you could put that sorta thing on a scale.  
“Y-y’all’re in for a-a-a real treat wh-when we get this workin’! Me-me n’ my bandmates are re-real happy with this al-album, our be-best work yet! Our-our best work f-for sure!” Album? Bandmates? This was just getting weirder and weirder, did this walking freak show really have a band? What kind of freak would join a band run by a guy like that?   
“Oh I th-think my assistant i-is trying to te-tell me somethin’!” it was hard to pick up, but Lefty heard this “assistant” say something off to the side.  
“Oh so i'm your ‘assistant’ now am I?” he said in a sarcastic tone, that must have been that guy the hippie was always with, Lefty had actually assumed he was some kind of captive when he first saw him hanging around the Sawyers, a sharp left hook to his jaw when he tried to get him away from the family informed him otherwise.  
“W-well lookie he-here! Oh this night, fo-for the first time in Te-texas and Cornbugs history, Sp-spot the Psycho will be-be played for a-all you lucky lis-listeners to hear!” with a click, the radio switched over to a song, or what Lefty assumed was a song, it wasn't like anything Lefty he had ever heard before. He wasn't sure what to call it, the more it played the less sure Lefty was it was music.  
He recalled his last run in with the oldest Sawyer brother, it was the dead of night and he was shouting something about how “First Bobby's goddamn music gettin’ in my ears, now this!” before hitting Lefty in the mouth so hard he knocked a tooth loose, that man was good with a broom. He promptly forgot about the cooks words as he was too preoccupied with his bleeding mouth to think about much else, and hadn’t thought much about them since.   
Well, if this is what the oldest Sawyer had to deal with, he almost felt bad for him. The more and more he found out about the three younger Sawyer brothers the more sympathetic he felt towards the cook, he seemed the least demented and violent of the four, he could almost pass as normal, looked the least nutty too. The hitchhiker, the hippie, and that leatherfaced freak wouldn't look out of place in a sideshow, the cook on the other hand must have gotten all the good looking genes from whoever these boys parents were, all the brains too. It was a darn shame that he was a murderous cannibal, if he wasn't, Lefty wouldn't waste a second getting that grade-A piece of Texas brisket on a night out. 

LG had hardly moved a muscle since his call to Lefty, what was taking that damn Texas ranger so long? He was hardly brave enough to breathe as you and Chop Top carried on in the booth right next to him, he hopped Stretch was ok at least, that big one, the one LG still didn't believe was the youngest, seemed to be sweet on her, so he hopped that meant she would be spared. Though even then, he had to pray that whatever they were still doing wasn't anything too rough, even if they were being good to her, he doubted that a Sawyers good looked different from a normal persons evil.  
Stretch looked out at the mess you and Chop Top made from her seat, well, LG was talking about doing a sort of deep-clean of the station soon, she guessed that this was some sorta sign to get on that.   
“So what's this songs name?” She asked, turning her attention back to you and Chop Top, you were both dancing around the booth, well, Stretch assumed that was dancing, didn't look like any sorta dance she’d ever seen, but it was cute regardless. She was genuinely happy for Chop Top for finding someone like you, though she did wish he wasn't such a poor influence on you.   
“Th-this one? I think i-it's uh. Lord La-lawnmower!”   
“No it ain't!” you giggled and spun around “this Vegetable Man, Pork Chop, Lord Lawnmower is up next!” Stretch laughed.  
“Bobby I thought this was your band? How do you not know your own tracklist?” Chop Top shouted something about “i t-told you-u to call me-me Chop Top f-for shitssake!” and answered.  
“N’ gimmie a-a break! It's a l-long album! N’ i’m just the singer after all!” Chop Top smiled and cocked his head at you and winked. “Plus h-he's our nu-nuber one fan! Don't got-gotta worry about keep-keep-keepin’ my tracklist st-straight in m-my brain when he's around!” Chop Top cackled, Stretch just rolled her eyes.  
“You know, if you wanted me to play some of your music you could have just dropped it off when you were here earlier, I would have been happy to play it.”   
“Y-you serious?”   
“Well I can't say I’d play it at peak listening time, but I’m always looking for new stuff to play during the later hours, when my boss doesn't quite care as much about what I play.”   
“So...Are yo-you sayin’ you like m-my band?!” Chop Top asked in disbelief, everyone he tried showing his music to before just blew him off, you were the only exception up until now.  
“Well, it's certainly something, can't say we have anything like it at the station already, how about you send a copy with Bubba next time he visits?”   
“Shit Pork Chop, I think you got yourself another fan!”   
“I-I think I did! Do-don't worry th-though babe, you're st-still number one!” Chop Top stuck his tongue out at you, not wanting to be out done, you danced up to the hippie and kissed him right on the mouth, and he followed your lead happily.   
“Ew!” Stretch said, laughing she turned her head away from the display of affection “God you two! You already got me tied up, don't torture me!” 

Lefty threw open the still unlocked back door, chainsaw in hand, and found his way through the havoc wrecked station, weaving his way through the unorthodox path of mayhem into the main room. The door was still slightly ajar, and Lefty could hear you and Chop Top carrying on from within, that strange music still blaring. He couldn't hear anything that sounded like LG or Stretch, leading him to assume the worst.  
The ranger idled no longer. He kicked open the door the rest away and burst in, raising the chainsaw, and revving it to show whoever was in there that he meant business. 

You and Chop Top went from dancing and carrying on to a still-jovial panic as Lefty made his entrance. With an idea of where this was going, Chop Top yanked his cassette out of the console and shoved it back into a vest pocket.  
Lefty rushed to the booth door, leading you to panic as you saw you and Chop Tops only exit . Without so much as thinking about the fallout of your actions, you picked up the heavy manual and threw it at the window out looking LGs desk, cracking the glass in a spider web like pattern.  
With Chop Top on your heels, you scrambled over to the fractured window and kicked in the glass, shattering the window into a million pieces.

Stretch cried out as she watched you smash the window, goddamnit shed get stuck paying for that!   
When LG heard the sound of the window shatter, he defaulted into the fetal position and waited for death as he heard you and Chop Top jump through it and onto his desk.   
“Well, at least I won't have to pay anymore medical bills…” LG squeezed his eyes shut and waited for the worst.

Lefty revved his chainsaw in anger as he watched you two escape. He was tempted to give chase, but Stretchs cry ripped his attention from you two.  
He put his chainsaw down and knelt to untie Stretch.   
“Little sister! Are you alright? Those two didn't hurt you did they?” Stretch rubbed the marks the wires had left on her arm, looking over to the shattered window.   
“I’m fine Lefty, it’s just-”  
“Don't worry, I'm going after them.” Lefty said, swiftly turning his attention back to his chainsaw, picking it up and revving it a few times in preparation, and making his way through the window. He was almost out of the room when he heard a whimper from under the desk.  
“LG!” Lefty shouted, bending down and checking under the desk.  
“L-lefty? Oh thank goodness you're here to save-”  
“Get up and stop cowering! Stretch was in there with those freaks and what were you doing? Being a coward!” LG flinched and Lefty got back up without another word, now quite hellbent on taking down at least one Sawyer on this fine Texas evening.

“YEEEEEE-HAWWWWWW!” Chop Top screamed out his window as you two tore down the Texas backroads once more, speeding like you've never sped before. You poked your head out of the window and watched the road behind you, there was no sign of Lefty, you hopped that meant you had shaken him off your tail.   
Chop Top swerved around, taking random turns and detours in an attempt to make sure Lefty wouldn't be able to figure out your paths, but your relief would turn to dread as he turned onto another road he cut in front of a large vehicle. One that was all too familiar.  
“Aw fuck-” you cursed as you saw the driver.  
“What? L-lefty?”   
“No. worse.”

Drayton Sawyer drove along at a pleasant pace, taking his time as he made his way home, wanting to enjoy the Texas night all he could. These drives were the only time he could think, no Nubbins shoving roadkill in his face, no Grandpa to take care of, no Bubba wailing over nothing, no Chop Top… well, Drayton didn't want to sit here and think about all the things that Chop Top did to annoy him, he wasn't sure if there was anything Chop Top did that didn't annoy him.   
Oh well, best not to worry about that now, he'd be home soon and he'd have time to deal with Chop Tops bullshit till the next competition. For now, he just wanted to focus on the road, and the night, and the-   
Drayton felt his stomach drop and heart jump up into his throat, some idiot in a truck pulled right in front of him! If he had been a foot closer he would have slammed right into them! Must have been some goddamn teenager going on a joyride, goddamnit he couldn't even have one quiet night to himself could he! He outta-   
His train of thought derailed as he got a good look at the truck itself, and the person peeking his head out from the passenger side window. Drayton felt his vision go red with rage as he started pounding on the car horn.   
“CHOP TOP YOU LITTLE SHIT!” he yelled as he followed the junky little truck down the road, ready to pull his brother out of it and hit him so hard he'd fly half way back to viet-fuckin’-nam!

“Oh fuck me”  
“Can't I-I’m drivin’,” Chop Top teased, you stuck out your tongue and reared a thumb at the vehicle behind you both. Chop Top looked into the rearview mirror, somehow going paler than he already was when he saw exactly who was on his ass. “Oh, we-well we-we’re, uh, we-we’re-”  
“Fucked?”   
“Draytons gonna ki-kill us! Hehe!” Chop Top giggled “Wh-what a night, e-eh babe?”   
“We’re fucking dead meat.”   
“Tomorrow's ch-chilli for sure!” Chop Top howled at his own joke and slapped his steering wheel “we gonn-gonna pull over o-or are we go-gonna keep him chasin’?”   
“We’re gonna get a screamin’ Drayton either way.”   
“Good p-point...might as well giv-give him somethin’ to really sc-scream about.” you didn't trust that tone one bit, but you didn't have to much to think about it either, because the next thing you knew your head was slammed into the passenger seat headrest.   
“Jesus Christ!” you yelled, grabbing onto the sides of the car seat in a desperate attempt to stay stable. Chop Top was bringing a whole new meaning to putting the pedal to the metal, and you weren't quite sure the old truck could take it. You could hear the motor start to sputter and grunt as he tore down the road.  
Chop Top leaned out the window and hollered:   
“YEEE-HAWWWWW DRAYTON! T-TRY AND CA-CATCH ME BITCH!” you had to grab him by the neck of the vest and pull him back in to keep him from getting ahead of himself.   
“Fucking hell! Don't do that shit without warning me!” you felt red hot, from the pure adrenaline of the situation or anger at your boyfriends pure dumbassery, you couldn't tell. “We’re still heading’ back home right?” you took a look into the rearview mirror, Drayton wasn't about to risk hurting his baby going after Chop Top, but he was still on Chop Tops tail and showing no signs of stopping.  
“Wh-where else woul-would we go?” Chop Top joked like he didn't have an angry cannibal on his ass.  
“Well, what are we gonna do when Drayton catches up with us?”   
“Uh, I dunno, h-hide?”   
“Hide where?”  
“Uh, dunno! Pr-probably somewhere h-hard to find!” Chop Top erupted into laughter once more.  
“You're a real genius Pork Chop.” you deadpanned.  
“Aw babe...I re-really was ju-just jokin’...but it's nice to-to know you th-think i'm so smart…” Chop Top blushed and looked over at you with those goo-goo eyes he always made at you when you said something cute completely on accident (which was a lot), though your mood got better when he looked at you like that, even if the situation was less than ideal. You knew well enough that both of you were in some deep shit, and it was going to get one hell of a lot worse when you got home, but at least you two could share a soft moment before things went to shit. Maybe it was just the midnight air getting to you but-  
You felt yourself get jolted to the side once more, as Chop Top swerved to avoid a truck that swooped in front of him.  
“S-sorry about that!” you felt yourself go green with nausea, suddenly wondering to yourself why you and Chop Top couldn't have just spent the night at home.

Drayton slammed on the breaks, hardly able to process what was nearly a bad car accident that nearly played out a few short yards in front of him. His breath hitched in his once he got a good look at the truck that pulled in from outta nowhere, the truck that nearly slammed right into his little brother! His own flesh and blood!   
Oh, Drayton couldn't mistake that truck for any other if he tried, there was no doubting it, that was Lefty Enright right up there. Any anger directed at Chop Top faded as Drayton hit the gas once more, no damn Texas ranger nearly kills his brother and gets away with it!  
“Drayton Sawyer tonight is the night!” Drayton grinned, teeth on full display “Tonight is the night you bag that damn pretty boy Texas ranger and turn him into tomorrow's chili!” 

Well, this was just lovely, first Drayton, now Lefty's caught back up with you, you couldn’t decide which fate would be worse. You gritted your teeth as Chop Top took another sharp turn.  
“Whys th-that o-other truck followin’ us?”   
“Lefty.”   
“Wh-what abou- ohhh…” Chop Top pursed his lips and twisted his eyebrows up in a mix of confusion and fear “Damn...I-I really am d-dumb so-sometime huh?” you snorted, smiling up at Chop Top when he looked over at you.  
“Yeah, and I wouldn't have it any other way.” that alleviated the look of fear on his face, somewhat. A smile twinged at his lip as he responded, his voice a little lower than usual.  
“Don't go-go bein’ cute again…”  
“Sorry, but I’m always cute,” Chop Top snorted “What? Are you trying to say I ain't cute?!”  
“No! I’m jus-just thinkin’ your cra-crazy!”   
“What makes you say that?”   
“Were about to-to be turned into gr-ground beef by Drayton e-er’ Lefty and you g-go thinkin’ now’s-s a good tim-time to be flirtin’!”   
“I'll stop flirting when you stop being cute!”   
“See! There you g-go doin’ it again! A-and I coulda swore you w-were just mad at m-me too!”  
“I am mad at you! You're driving like a maniac!”   
“Well, you ain't act-acting like you're mad at me!”   
“Maybe I'm flirtin’ while you're drivin’ to get back at you!” Chop Top shrugged to that and peeked his head out the open window once again.   
“Your fault if-if I smash into something then!” he called out into the night, completely oblivious to the strange, vaugly homoerotic, road rage going on between his big brother and the families favorite Texas ranger right behind him.

Drayton pounded on his car horn.  
“ENRIGHT YOU SON OF A BITCH!” Drayton called from his window “LEAVE MY DAMN FAMILY ALONE!” Lefty could hardly believe his ears, mainly because everyone was going so fast it was impossible to hear anything, but that voice behind him, there was no mistaking it. It was the voice of the one and only Drayton Sawyer.   
Well this sure was a pickle. Lefty couldn't be sure if he could handle one Sawyer (and one honorary Sawyer) at this point, this might just be pushing it. He had sworn off taking on more than one at a time after what went down last time, he couldn't exactly remember what happened, but he took waking up in the hospital with a skinned LG next to him as a sign that he didn't want to. 

“Did you hear that?” you paused your high speed flirting when you heard what sounded like shouting.  
“Pro-probably-ably Drayton tellin’ us how-how he's gonna ski-skin us and ha-ha-ave Nubs tan us to m-make boots.”   
“Nubbins wouldn't do that!”   
“He would i-if Drayton told h-him to, probably be af-afraid that he-he’d skin him too i-if he said no!”  
“I don't think so, hed probably fight Drayton for doing that to you.”   
“Your-your gonna make me st-start blushin’ again! Nubs ain-ain't that brave!”   
“He’d be brave for you, your his brother!”   
“Aw now I-I-I know that ai-ain't true! He's my brother, b-but he don't ca-care about me that m-much!” Chop Top was joking, but you didn't find that last bit too funny.  
“Pork Chop baby! Don't say stuff like that! Of course Nubbins cares about you, you're his brother! His own flesh and blood!” any worries about the chase was momentarily shoved to the back of your mind, Drayton and Lefty could both crash for all you cared.  
“Yeah, maybe, but Nubs’ ain't about to put his ne-neck on the li-line for me…” Chop Top mumbled that last bit.  
“Why wouldn't he?”  
“Wh-why would he? Hehe,” Chop Top tried lightening the mood with some laughter, buy you weren't having it, this was serious.   
“Because you're my Pork Chop! Thats why! Why wouldn't someone care about you like that?” you asked, moving a hand to Chop Tops knee.   
“Oh, I dunno, I-I guess...I d-dunno…” Chop Top shrugged, binging a hand down from his steering wheel and placing it onto your hand.   
“Nubbins cares about you an awful lot, we all do, you know that right, Pork Chop?” Chop Top had to turn his attention back to the road for a moment, turning onto the road that would take them home. The turn had caused you to shift in your seat, you had grown used to your place on the seat, and were no longer sitting as rigidly as to keep your place, so in turn your body slumped to the side and fell onto Chop Tops shoulder. Despite the jolt, you weren't too bothered by the change, moving only to be more comfortable as you laid on your boyfriend's shoulder.  
“Well, I gu-guess I could believe that ab-about you n’ Nubs n’ Bubba, but all, even Drayton?”   
“Pork Chop I know it's hard to believe, right now especially, but even Drayton loves you, he's just...not great at showing you.”   
“Now-now I know you're just tr-tryin’ to make me fe-feel better…I'm fine wi-with Drayton hating me a-a little! I know I-I’m a pa-pain in th-the ass!” Chop Top laughed, gripping onto your hand.  
“Don't go sayin’ that stuff.”  
“You gotta s-stop worryin’ every time I-I make fun of my-myself.”  
“I'm not worryin’, I just think you're too good to be thinkin’ about yourself that way.” you continued “And Drayton does love you, you're his little brother, and a damn good one at that, stuff just gets on his nerves easy and he doesn't know how to handle it.” you had no idea why you were being so sympathetic towards Drayton, he didn't deserve it with how he treated his little brothers, even if he did love them deep down, and he especially didn't deserve sympathy when he was currently chasing you two down. But, if extending some unearned sympathy meant Chop Top would stop being so self deprecating, than so be it.  
“...I dunno b-babe, that's a li-little hard to believe…”  
“Why do you say that?” you got the feeling now wasn't the ideal time for this kind of heart-to-heart, this conversation was better fit for a late night of cuddling up in Chop Tops room, not so much a high speed car chase. Then again, neither of you bothered being all that smart or wearing when it came to where and when you had personal conversations (poor Nubbins could contest to that) so why bother starting now?  
“Well…” 

“LEFTY!” Drayton yelled out of his window once he finally caught up. He was up so close that if he went just an inch too far once way, he'd be in the dirt, too far another, he’d be slamming straight into Lefty.   
Lefty looked over and reached over to roll down the window.  
“What?!” Lefty called out.  
“I'm going to kick your ass! You little weasel!”   
“Huh? Sawyer, I can’t hear you!” Lefty called out, leaning over further in hopes of hearing.  
“You've been warned you little pig-bastard! Keep away from my family!”  
“What’d you say about pigs?”   
“Don't you get smart with me! You better slow down and leave my brother and his boyfriend alone!”   
“Slow down and what about a boyfriend?”  
“You've been warned! I’m not afraid to take you out, little man!”   
“Are you asking me out?” Lefty called out  
“This is your final warning Enright!” Drayton called, saying his prayers under his breath as he swerved his truck to the side.

Chop Top was sobbing, you had to reach over and take control of the speeding truck so you wouldn't both crash. It was terrifying, but you leaning over and onto Top Chop added a bit of security to the sobbing man.  
“I g-guess I-I just wish Drayton was a-was a little n-n-nicer to all of u-us...I get th-that life's been h-hard on him, but i-it's been hard o-on all of us t-too! We tr-try n’ help bu-but it's hard wh-when it seems lik-like he doesn't want he-help!” Chop Top sobbed on, you felt his torso move along with the sobs, you were somewhat glad that you couldn't see his face right now. If he was crying as hard as you thought, you knew you'd be crying right along with him if you saw his tears.   
A few tell-tale landmarks told you weren't too far from the Sawyers new home, even if you weren't too sure of your driving skills at the moment, but once you were home, you could turn in for the night and wipe away Chop Tops tears as you cuddled for the rest of the night...so long as Lefty didn't follow. That would put a damper on things for sure, if you didn't somehow get him off your tail soon you'd probably have to fight the man off yourself.  
Honorary Sawyer or not, you weren't a great fighter when it came to threats. You could handle a few screaming teenagers, but you let Bubba or Chop Top deal with the fighter.   
You had no idea how you'd be able to take down someone like Lefty, while he was armed no less. You felt like you'd need nothing short of a miracle.

“You've left me with no choice Enright!” Drayton didn't want to harm his precious baby, but would drop anything for his family in a heartbeat if it meant saving them, even his precious, precious barbeque on wheels…  
Lefty hardly knew what hit him, once second he was on the road, next his truck was all dinged up and in a ditch! That damn Sawyer boy head already sped off when Lefty kicked his door open to check the damage. The other side of this truck was unrecognizable after what that oversized food truck did to it! To think that Sawyer was asking him out too! Well, if he thought he was going to say yes after this! The answer was still probably yes!   
Oh Drayton had a feeling his baby wasn't looking too good after that...but, at least Lefty was out of the family's hair for the night! And the reaction he'd get outta them when he told! Oh he could see it now, he could see you and Bubbas thankful smiles and hear the twins…  
“Oh D-drayton i'm so s-sorry for bein’ su-such a pain in the ass fer a-all these years! Please forgive me, y-your the best big b-brother ever!”   
“Yeah Drayton! You're the best! I promise I won't leave any more of my weird roadkill creations in your kitchen ever again!” 

“Holly he-hell, Draytons losin’ hi-his mind back there!” you were wondering what that noise was.  
“What’d he do?” Chop Top swallowed whatever tears were left and answered.  
“He ju-jus-just slammed into Le-lefty!”  
“Is he dead?”  
“Drayton or L-Lefty?”   
“Uh, either of em.” Chop Top squinted at the rearview mirror.  
“Well, th-the barbeque mobile is-is still drivin’ so I-I’m guessin’ that Draytons mostly al-alive.”   
“What about Lefty?” even though he had been terrorizing you and your boyfriend for a few years, you sorta hopped he was ok. Life was just a little more interesting with the deranged Texas ranger around, you'd miss the poor guy if he died.  
“Uh, I'm not su-not sure, oh! Never mi-mind I-I see him! hehe, he looks so ma-mad!” well you'll both be damned, seems like the Sawyer family weren't the only ones with an unexplained aversion to death.   
“I th-think Draytons still com-comin’ after us though!” Chop Top shrugged “I gues-guess one's better tha-than both!”   
“You're always lookin’ on the bright side Pork Chop-” “-y-yep!-” “you think you could take back over on drivin’? My back’s startin’ to hurt.”  
“Aw shoot, yeah y-you move right back o-over. Sorry, goin’ and lettin’ m-my emotions get to me…”   
“Don't apologize for that Porky” you let go of the wheel and moved back into your seat as you felt Chop Tops warm hands take back control. “I wanna help you with that kinda stuff, if you're feeling bad you can always talk to me about it.”   
“Alrighty...h-hhey could you remind me to d-do somethin’ when we get back home?”   
“Of course Pork Chop,”   
“Remind me to gi-give you a kiss kiss as th-thank you for caring ab-about me so much…” You giggled.  
“You're too sweet Pork Chop, ill remind you, but I might just have to get in a kiss first.” a blush flooded Chop Tops pale face,  
“St-stop teasing me! Yo-you're gonna make me c-crash worse th-tha-than Lefty!” 

The last stretch of road between you and home passed without issue, and you were pulling in before either of you could say “shit Draytons still behind us isn't he?”   
“Should we get out?” you asked, Drayton had just pulled in behind you.  
“I-I ain't seein’ a-anythin’ else we co-could be doing...” Chop Top murmured, opening his door and sliding out.  
“Wh-Chop Top?! Were you not wearin’ a seatbelt this whole time?!”   
“No?”  
“You chrome domed idiot! You coulda hurt yourself!” you shouted after Chop Top as you unbuckled.  
“Yeah, bu-but I did-didn't!” Chop Top laughed, even the thoughts of an ensuing broom-beating couldn't dampen his mood. You and Chop Top walked over to the barbeque on wheels, taking in all of the dents and chipped off paint.  
“Jeez…” Chop Top looked the vehicle up and down “We’re ch-chili for sure…”   
“Bobby! Y/n!” Drayton flung his door open and hurried over to both of you.  
“W-wait! Lemme get m-m-my necklaces off I-I don't wanna h-have to find all-all of the pieces-”  
“You're both ok! Thank goodness, I was worried that nut job might have hurt you!” Drayton grabbed Chop Tops face and looked it over, making sure there weren't any bumps or scratches he'd missed “have you been pickin’ at your plate again?”   
“That do-don't matter! Ain't y-you supposed to be-be mad at us?”   
“Mad?” Drayton smiled, and you swore your ears were deceiving you, but you almost heard the old coot chuckle “Why would I be mad? I won, I'm home, my brother and his guy are safe, and I ran that wannabe cowboy off the road! All in one night!” Drayton was beaming so bright and wide that you could probably sit down and count all the stains on his crooked teeth if you wanted to.  
“So...you a-ain't mad?”   
“Am I-No! I already I said I ain't mad you fuckin’ brain dead- err, nevermind. No, I ain't mad. I'm just glad that cowboy didn't hurt none of yall and ain't gonna be botherin’ us for a bit.” Drayton sighted and started towards the main building, only to abruptly turn back around and walk up to the barbeque on wheels once more, opening the door and grabbing something out of the cab.   
Still smiling, he pulled out the oversized chili trophy he won, first place, as per usual.  
“Nice, isn't it?” he asked before finally retiring inside of the Swayers new home.  
“Well that was...weird.” Chop Top just shrugged.  
“He ain't beatin’ me u-up fer bein’ s-stupid, I ain't gonna question i-it.” Chop put a long arm around your shoulder “Let's get i-inside, cold out.” You snuggled into Chop Tops torso.  
“You’re warm, I didn't notice.” 

Drayton found his way into the living room, disappointed but not all that surprised when he found Nubbins passed out on the couch, with the TV on no less.  
“Nubbins! Get your ass up goddamnit!” Drayton said, hitting the man bluntly with the butt of his trophy.   
“Wh- Drayton?-”   
“While you were sleepin’ and racking up the power bill, Bobby and y/n nearly got killed by that damn Texas ranger!” Drayton raised the trophy once more, giving Nubbins no choice but to roll off the couch and scurry off “and I don't want to see your face for the rest of the night, you hear!” Drayton shouted after his younger brother.

You and Chop Top made your way down into the depths of the old theme park, past the now dark living room, through the still dirty dining room, and down the cattywampus hallway that held the Sawyer brothers rooms.  
You and Chop Top had nearly made it inside his room when a door creaked open and a masked face peeked out.  
“Hey Bubba.” you smiled up at the youngest Sawyer, “what have you been up to all night?” Bubba just whimpered “hey hey, what's wrong?” you asked, taking a step towards the younger brother,  
“Aw, Bubba was lo-lonely without us…” how Chop Top was able to get that out of a few whimpers was beyond you.  
“Bubba i'm sorry, d-didn't know you were a-a-awake still…” Chop Top wandered over to his brother, putting an arm back around you when he got close enough. Bubba whimpered once more, it was hard to tell with both the mask and the low light on top of him, but you could see a few shiney tears fall down from those puppy-dog like eyes.  
“Come-come on Bubba, get o-over here.” Chop Top said, letting go of you and outstretching his arms for an impending bear hug. Bubba sniffled, then shoved past his door to accept his brothers offer, picking up the skinny hippie as he wrapped his arms around him. Chop Top made a weird noise, kinda like a deflating balloon.  
“J-je-jesus you-you're gett-ttin-gettin’ strong-g Bub-bubba!” Chop Top grunted, his face going red as Bubba crushed his torso. “Al-alrighty Bubba, Dray’ n’ Nubbins are here too, bu-but let me kn-know next time yo-you’re awake this late!” Chop Top wheezed “Me n’-me n’ y/n woulda taken y-you with us on our lit-little adventure!” Chop Top laughed. You were beginning to get worried, Chop Tops face had gone from red to blue and his legs were beginning to spasm.  
Bubba must have noticed this too, because just as Chop Top started sputtering, he let go of his big brother. Dropping him down to the worn-out rug with a thud. Chop Top picked himself up and stumbled backwards a bit, thought quickly regained his balance and laughed a little.  
“Gosh you're get-gettin’ strong…” Chop reached up and gave his brother a friendly pat on the shoulder “you let us kn-know if you-you're feelin’ lonely again B-Bubba, you ca-can come in n’ snuggle with us!”   
“We could start a cuddle pile!” you perked up, Bubba giggled and yawned. “Might be best if you head off to bed though Bubba, it’s awful late.” Bubba nodded his sleepy head, waved goodnight to the both of you, and closed his door.   
“We-well, I think our little night tour r-round Tex-texas is finally over…” Now it was your turn to yawn.  
“Why did we go out n’ do that again?”   
“I dun-un-dunno! Somethin' a bout m-my hanger?” Chop Top cackled as he put his arm back around you one more time, walking you into his room to finally turn in for the night. Bubba was finally drifting off, Nubbins had escaped Drayton and had found his way back to his room, stuffed head to toe with macabre art projects he had made and collected, and Drayton was adding his newest chili trophy to his ever growing collection, smiling at all of them one last time before turning into bed himself.   
Stretch and LG were currently doing their best to pick up the trashed radio station, and Lefty was truding home in the darkness, bitterly letting the Sawyer clan have this night. All had a very long late-night ahead of them, and all would have a few choice words for a certain Sawyer and his boyfriend, but that was a problem for another day. You couldn't be bothered to worry about how you and Chop Tops little stunts would go on to affect you, as the both of you lay in bed, arms wrapped around each other, nothing really seemed to matter.  
Everyone else could wait, it was an unexpectedly soft ending to a strange night. Not the first night like this and surely not the last, so long as you were with Chop Top. Memories from the night began to blur, the chili throwing and Nubbins, the drive to the station and the ensuing mayhem, Lefty and the emotional car chase, and Drayton ex machina. All in a day's work you supposed.   
As the swirling memories faded into the back of your mind, you snuggled closer to your boyfriend, falling asleep soon after.

**Author's Note:**

> and there you go! I hope that was at least readable, and if you like my writing, i do take requests on my blog Devin-with-an-eye on tumblr! so if you have any requests for slashers/horror character please drop in!


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